i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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