Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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