Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
