Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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