its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Who died my cat blue again?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
