Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
