am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
