dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
