i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
