i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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