Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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