Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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