I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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