Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
