"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Boobs speak an international language.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
