Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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