I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have fence marks all over my body
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
