In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize