she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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