At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
