im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
