I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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