I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
