Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
