just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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