Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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