I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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