Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
