I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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