So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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