You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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