considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
