The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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