Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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