perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
