What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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