My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize