if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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