i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
