At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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