His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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