In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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