dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
