Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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