Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
