so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Less talking, more tequila
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
