So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
