Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
