I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sorry about my life...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
is it fun? or sober?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize