I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Porn is love you can see.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
