I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Houston, we have a blender
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
