Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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