All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we're making bets on your personal life
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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