do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
