Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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