do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
