I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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