i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Damn victory sex feels great
Congratulations! We have a period
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