Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
